A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE PERSON WHO BUILT THIS NONSENSE

Before We Begin This Extremely Legitimate Trial...

Before this extremely legitimate court proceeding begins, I have been legally advised to disclose something.

I made this because sometimes life is rude for absolutely no reason, your brain starts acting like an unpaid professional hater, and maybe a ridiculous imaginary courtroom can make the day suck approximately 3% less.

This entire thing is free.

Seriously.

You do not have to pay to use it.

There is no emotional paywall hiding behind Clarence the pigeon.

I am not standing here like:

“Oh, you're sad? That'll be ₱--.”

BUT—

If this made you laugh, distracted you for a while, or somehow convinced your brain to stop filing unnecessary lawsuits against you...

and you voluntarily feel like throwing a tiny reward at the idiot who spent an unreasonable amount of time building this—

I have a GCash QR.

Because apparently emotional fulfillment does not pay my bills.

⚖ ALSO—

If you've ever thought:

“Wait. I want one of these stupid little websites for myself.”

Or for your girlfriend.

Boyfriend.

Best friend.

Crush.

Enemy.

Situationship.

Someone you owe an apology to.

Someone you want to emotionally inconvenience in a highly customized way.

I take commissions.

You give me the person, the idea, the vibe, the jokes, the story, whatever you have in mind—

and I'll build you a personal interactive website like this.

Then we discuss the design, interaction, jokes, and commission price like two respectable businesspeople who definitely did not meet through a website featuring a pigeon attorney.

I am accepting commissions because:

  1. I enjoy making these.
  2. I have questionable ideas.
  3. I am, unfortunately, in need of money.

Transparency.

Anyway, enough capitalism.

The defendant is waiting.

Proceed to court.